It Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be
by emilia valentine
Summary: Rachel's got her dream to be on Broadway. But it's not as good as she thought it would be, especially without that special Quarterback...Finchel! ABBA content!


_I was sick and tired of everything, when I called you last night from New York_

Rachel hasn't seen Finn in who knows how long.

So she doesn't know what possessed her to call him at 11pm last night after her show.

Actually, that's a lie. She does.

She's sick and tired of Broadway. It's shocking, she knows. Broadway has been her dream since she was three years old, and when she finally gets there, she doesn't like it? Well, she thinks, they do say that dreams don't live up to themselves.

So now here she is, 25 years old with a lead role, and it turns out not to be everything she wanted to be.

So she calls him. Because Finn has been her dream since 7th grade, and he always lived up to it. And besides, it's not like she has anyone else to talk to. They all think Rachel's living the dream, and she doesn't want to disapoint them. She can just imagine what Santana would say if she knew.

_All I do is eat and sleep and sing, wishing every show was the last show._

She wakes up on a morning, eats her breakfast, and then it's off to rehearsals. Two, maybe three shows, a quick bite to eat and then back to bed. That is what her life has become, and she isn't happy about it. She wants a _life._

She knows she and Finn broke up back in Junior Year of college. Some crap about long distance being to hard to maintain. But she thinks they were just both afraid of how powerful what they had was, and what the hell they were supposed to do from there. But she still loves him, and she doesn't think she'll ever stop.

What she does, after a particularly challenging night show, is go to the Hudson river (she knows it's sad, but it does have his name) and thinks about him. And misses him. And wishes that maybe life had turned out differently.

_So imagine I was glad to hear you coming, suddenly I feel alright._

As soon as he says he's going to fly up to see her (he's living in San Francisco), suddenly everything gets better. He's coming! It's okay! She's going to be safe again!When he told her he was coming, she was over the moon. She put down the phone after saying goodbye and squealed in excitement.

It was going to be okay.

_And it's gunna be so different when I'm on the stage tonight!_

When he arrives, she meets him at the airport. It's one of those amazing moments, and she just runs into his arms and feels like she belongs there. They just…fit. Perfectly.

When he tells her he's coming to her performance at the theatre tonight her heart leaps. She'll have someone to perform for. She'll be happy.

_Tonight the super trooper lights are gunna find me, shining like the sun, smiling having fun._

When she spotlight hits her as she belts out her solo tonight, she feels amazing, like a star. Because she can feel him watching her, appreciating her performance. She wonders if he knows if it's all just for him? Surely he has to, he's the only guy she's ever loved or ever will.

She enjoys her performance.

_Feeling like a number one._

A thought flashes through her head as she finishes the last note.

She's someone's number one again, at least for a minute. And he's always hers.

_Tonight the super trooper lights are gunna blind me, but I won't feel blue, like I always do._

The spotlights so bright sometimes that she can't see the audience. Usually, she likes it better that way, because then she can just pretend she's singing a solo in glee club again. It stops her feeling quite so miserable. But tonight she wishes she could see the crowd, see _Finn. _

_Cos somewhere in the crowd there's you. _

All she's ever wanted, she realises now, was always right in front of her. It was Broadway, of course. But most of all, it was Finn.

_Facing twenty thousand of your fans, how can anyone be so lonely?_

She knows it ridiculous to be lonely when Finn isn't at her performances (he's moved in now, her life is finally back on track. It was the moment he told her he loved her again. She, of course, returned his sentiment). She knows there's 2,000 fans of hers in that theatre, hanging on her every sound. But still, without him she feels a little bit empty inside.

_Part of a success that never ends, still I'm thinking about you only._

When she wins her first Tony, she's overjoyed. But it's not so much about the Tony, it's more about the fact that Finn proposed before they came to the awards. And she said yes.

_There are moments when I think I'm going crazy._

Soon, everything starts to blur into one big muddle of dress fittings, shows, seeing Quinn and Tina and Kurt and planning the biggest day of her life. Sometimes she feels like her mind is slipping away, all the taffeta and show tunes messing up her brain. But then there he is, tall and comforting and perfect, and it all comes back to her.

_But it's gunna be alright, everything will be so different when I'm on the stage tonight!_

Her last show as Rachel Berry. This weekend she's going to become Mrs. Rachel Hudson and she couldn't be happier about it.

As she skips off after the last act, and finds Finn waiting in the wings, she hastily breaks her rule about PDA in theatres and gives him a long, long kiss.

_So I'll be there, when you arrive._

As she walks up the aisle in her floating white wedding tress with a train that fans out behind her, she can see the love in his eyes and knows it's echoed in her own. She didn't know she could be any happier, but apparently she can.

She's not complaining.

_The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive._

When she looks up at him after he's finally put the ring on her finger it all becomes so, so real. This isn't a dream. She hasn't died and gone to heaven.

It's happened to her, Rachel Hudson.

_And when you take me in your arms, and hold me tight._

Their first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Hudson is the best either of them has ever had. It feels so right and pure and true somehow, and when he lifts her up and carries her back down the aisle, with all her best friends throwing confetti over them, she can't help but smile a grin so big it's a wonder it doesn't crack her face in two.

_I know it's gunna mean so much tonight!_

_Tonight the super trooper lights are gunna find me, shining like the sun, smiling having fun, feeling like a number one. _

Because she is number one to Finn Hudson. And that's all that ever really mattered.


End file.
